Happy Halloween. Now tell me what you're thankful for!

Happy Halloween.

Now tell me what you're thankful for…

I am grateful for internet.

I miss Bruce.

He was my neighbor's wifi that I stole to get internet in my room,

because no matter how hard I try I can't connect to my family's wifi.

So now I don't have internet at home.

I have two options.

A PC in the kid room.

#1- i don't know how to use a pc anymore. GO MACS!

#2- it is so full of viruses that it is slower than the first computer ever made.

The other option is the family computer in the kitchen

#1- it is faster than option #1. But still as slow as dial-up.

Remember dial up?

Yeah… that slow.

#2- it's in the kitchen. Which is close to food. Which means while I'm waiting for my screen to load… I get bored, so I eat all the food in the kitchen.

Bad combo.

I like internet in my room.

But i'm too lazy to call cox and get it working.

So i guess it's my own fault.

Anywho, moral of the story I'm grateful for internet.

Even if I can only get it at school.

Back to Halloween…

Tell you the truth.

I don't really like Halloween.

Since the age of 13.

When the movie The Ring made me unable to sleep for a week.

When my best friend called me and said,"7 days…"

And I literally thought I was going to die.

Because I had a way old school tv in my room.

Scarred me for life.

Halloween can be dark and scary...

Yeah… not a fan of those two feelings.

Even though as I have gotten older and realized that the scary movies are fake.

I still don't like that dark feeling.

I like HAPPY Halloween.

Like cute pumpkins.

Friendly ghosts.

Kids dressed up in adorable outfits.

And candy corn.

This year I'm going to spend time with the cutest cousins ever.

I love the babers and my family.

Pictures to come.

I actually never like The Nightmare Before Christmas. It also scared me.

Even that level on Kingdom Hearts... scared me and I was like 18 when I played

that game. Ha.

But this video was the coolest Halloween light show I've ever seen.

Enjoy.

Life is beautiful. Love Always Wins.

Happy Halloween.

Boo.

that should be me...

A glimpse of what goes on in my head...

Like today.

I've got instant humility.

Trying to be even just alittle better.

Grasping the slighest bit of hope.

And ignoring some of the the pain and insecurities...

But, life is beautiful. love always wins.

Happy Sunday.

Let the Haters Hate

I put my photography website back up.

Haters Gonna Hate…

and Lovers Gonna Love.

-Side note… I miss glee. Baseball World Series needs to end.-

that's all.

Back to my website.

I recently took pictures of Cameron & Kayela's wedding.

I love weddings.

Congrats newly weds.

Check it.

http://rachelbrockphotography.com/

Accepted

Good News…

I was accepted to the Brooks Institute of Photography!

I haven't been this happy… in over a year.

I finally have something to work toward.

I read somewhere that

"happiness does not come from people or things,

it comes from goals and accomplishing them."

I have a goal.

I will accomplish it.

I am happy.

-Another note, it was ironic that my big thing was supposed to be today.

The one year mark of a horrible awful year.

The worst year of my life.

I'm sure life will throw more traumatic events my way in the future.

But if I can survive this past year.

I can survive anything.

Bring it on Life.

Sad note.

There isn't a day that I don't miss my Mom.

There isn't a day where I'm not mad at my Mom.

There isn't a day where I wish I could talk to her when I want to

There isn't a day where I don't need her.

And even though the chain reactions of what happened literally derailed me,

crushed most of my dreams, brought more rejection, humiliation, frustration, pain, loneliness, and devastation than I ever wanted to endure.

I found hope.

I'm moving on.

And

Even though I'm working through my obvious issues and anger toward her

there isn't a day where I won't love my mother.

Because she is my Mom.

Mom I love and miss you.

You Can't Buy Happiness...

Ice cream is pretty much the same thing as HAPPINESS.

Let's talk about HAPPINESS.

1. I am happy when my puppy cuddles with me all night.

2. I am happy when there isn't traffic in the morning

3. I am happy when I eat lots of cookie dough like I did last night.

4. I am happy when I get good hugs

5. I am happy when I give people compliments…

That is my little list from today/last night.

Life is beautiful. Love always wins.

You Matter to Him.

In institute yesterday morning we looked at President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk from this October's General Conference

You Matter to Him

This was a message of encouragement to me.

That what matters to me, also matters to Him.

I have fallen into the trap of feeling insignificant.

"Another way Satan deceives is through discouragement. He attempts to focus our sight on our own insignificance until we begin to doubt that we have much worth. He tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice, that we are forgotten - especially by God."

But this is not true.

"My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At time we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember- YOU MATTER TO HIM! If you ever doubt that, consider these four divine principles:

1. God loves the humble and meek, for they are the 'greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'

2.The Lord entrusts 'the fulness of His gospel to be proclaimed by the weak and simple'

3. No matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager you employment, how limited you abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you.

4. Please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever."

I really appreciate number 4.

Right now is but a small moment.

"God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season- He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."

I needed this message.

Especially because right now I'm trying to make sense of my life.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Where I'm going.

What I'm supposed to do anymore.

I'm doing the best I can, but I matter to Him.

He knows what I am capable of becoming and has a plan for me.

A better plan for me than I could have planned for myself.

But until I figure out what His plan is for me…

I'm going to keep proceeding with this photography thing (:

Life is beautiful. Love always wins.

This is what I wake up to in the morning. I love my loud, annoying, fluffy, cute, and cuddly monster pumpkin puppy (:

Photography School?!?!?!

Alright team, I'm taking a leap of faith.

I've decided to make a huge life change…

I applied to the Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, California.

Meaning, I can possibly become a pro-photographer.

And pursue my dream of owning my very own studio and photography business.

Or a shared studio with my seester.

I can see our name in lights.

This gives me extreme overwhelming joy.

Few things in life give me as much happiness as photography.

How I would love to leave behind all the things that are holding me back.

Be a new person in a new state, but with the same dream.

Finally, I made a choice.

A choice that makes me happy.

A choice I want, terribly.

I'll just pray I can have this opportunity.

Fingers crossed.

life is beautiful. love always wins.

last kiss

This song has been running through my head all day.

It is also exactly what I'm feeling today…

-sometimes it feels that love doesn't always win.-

but in the end it will.

<3

Wonderstruck.

I'm wonderstruck from the concert last night.

It was MAGICAL.

This was my FAVORITE guitar.

It SPARKLES.

I love sparkles.

It rained sparkles.

It was enchanting.

Taylor was absolutely amazing live.

She hit some killer high notes.

I also didn't realize how stunning she is.

She is gorgeous.

All of her dresses were unreal.

Last night was unbelievable.

One of the best experiences of my life.

I'm glad that I got to share it with Beth Anne.

I'm also grateful that I decided to be sneaky and bring my camera in…

even when security said it wasn't allowed.

HA.

I got to capture some spectacular moments.

Life is beautiful.

Songs, music, and lyrics are a great way to get through it.

And love always wins.

Taylor Swift Tonight.

So a week ago, I was determined to win Taylor Swift tickets.

How determined?

Crazy person determined.

Yes, I called KMLE 108 over 500 times in the space of 3 hours…

Yes, I didn't pay attention in class so I could listen to the radio to know when to call…

Yes, I pretended I had to go to the bathroom to get out of the basement of a building

so that I could call…

Yes, I did those things…

But that didn't win me those tickets.

What I did was go to the place the radio station said they would be.

I just had a feeling deep down in the cocker spaniels of my gut that I had a chance...

When Beth Anne wasn't home to go with me.

I called her a million and one times to get her lady balls home to go with me…

When she said she wouldn't be home for another hour

I left without her.

Showed up early at the place of interested and waited with the surprisingly few others

that also were crazy determined to win these tickets.

In the end, it was a simple raffle.

Keep in mind, Rachel Brock never wins anything.

I find myself to be attracted to bad luck. Or bad luck is attracted to me.

But not last friday!

Beth Anne finally showed up brought Alexa.

So I had company in my wait.

I believe I won the tickets because we said a prayer.

Or Alexa did, because she's the most righteous out of the bunch.

With in seconds of finishing the prayer they called another name.

John something something… 1,2,3. Dude was a no show.

Next raffle.

Rachel….

BROCK!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's me!

I WON. I WON. I WON. I WON!

Thank you Heavenly Father.

I needed some happiness, and boy oh boy am I happy.

I was also recorded and heard myself talk really fast and in a high pitch voice on the radio 15 mins later how I won Taylor Swift tickets!

YAY.

The concert is tonight. Gonna be sitting front row with my sister.

Can not wait!

Life is beautiful, the Lord sends tender mercies every once in awhile.

and Love Always Wins!

my guilty pleasure.

I have a confession… Pretty Little Liars is my guilty pleasure. I love it. ALOT. I've been having serious PLL with-drawls but fortunately today was the special halloween episode.

Scary music, scary masks, scary outfits that really should not have been worn.... In the end, it left me wanting to know even more who A is. Real bad.

The show thinks it can out smart me though, by making me think it is Lucas, but no… It's not him, because "they" want me to think that. I know I'm smart. Take that tv show writers… but seriously who is A??!?!?!?!

The simple joys in life like a favorite tv show makes life beautiful.

And love always wins!

First blog ever...

So here I go, I am jumping in head first into blogging.

I'm pretty excited about it, mostly I want the world to know I'm taking control of my life.

I am no longer going to let my circumstances determine my happiness. Life is beautiful and I want to start living it fully. I am changing my attitude and seeing the beauty in everything, the simple things.

I want to draw closer to the Savior, I want to be a loving daughter, be a better example to my sisters, be a better friend to everyone, and mostly be kinder to myself.

Life is beautiful, tonight I rode in the car with my white shaggy puppy with the windows down. It doesn't get much better than singing your heart out to your favorite song with the window down and a breeze in your face. No wonder dogs love car rides so much.

Life is beautiful and love always wins.