Here's the deal

So there are so many things that I should be doing right now. But  I can't, because this is on my mind. I was placed in a position today where I felt inferior. It honestly made me feel so bad about myself that I was on the brink of tears. The old me, would have listened to the negative self talk and blame myself for certain things, and it probably would have made me self-harm. But I don't believe that voice anymore.
Here's the deal.
I like you and I'm not your first choice.
You are stupid and here is why.
I'm not sorry that I'm imperfect. (double negative kind of) Nonetheless, I know my body isn't perfect. I know physically I'm not a super model. But I'm getting healthy and strong, and I'm proud of that.
I'm not sorry that I'm too trusting. I see the good in people first, even if it the only shred of good they have left in every fiber of their being. I see that, and I like that.
I'm not sorry that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am an open book. I can't hide my feelings. I don't want to. I don't like playing games. I am honest, and I like that.
I'm not sorry that I'm too kind. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I genuinely care more about others than I do myself sometimes, and I like that. I think that is possibly the only Christ like attribute I have.
I'm not sorry that I giggle too much. I giggle and can get crazy and even really weird, and I like that.
I'm not sorry for the way that I dress. I think I have great style. I like how I dress and that's all that matters.
I'm not sorry that I come from the family I do. Sometimes it sucks and sucks isn't the right word for how crappy it is. But I'm a hell of a lot stronger person today than I would have been, if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through.
Also, I'm not sorry that I may have a little baggage. Guess what? I'm dealing with my issues. I'm getting over my problems now, so I don't have a midlife crisis one day like she will. All the counseling I have had and all the hard time I've gone through makes me get it. Get it in a way that people who have never had the short end of the stick could understand. It makes me more compassionate and empathetic, and I LOVE that.
Basically, I'm tired of feeling inadequate. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the reason that I'm not your first choice.
Here's the deal.
I think I'm pretty.
I think I'm smart.
I think I'm kind.
I think I'm talented.
I think I'm awesome.
I think I'm a damn good friend.
And honestly, anyone would be lucky to have me in their family.
I think I'm a CATCH!
You are blind and missing out brother.  I'm letting go of all the feelings, good and bad. It's no longer my problem.